HIDDEN BATTLES - The Soldiers

THE SOLDIERS

All videos are presented in Quicktime format.

In HIDDEN BATTLES you will meet:

Aaron, a former Marine Scout/Sniper, was deployed on a U.N. Peacekeeping mission to Somalia in 1994. Coming home, Aaron struggled with symptoms of PTSD, "Looking back now, I was insane. It's like I didn't even get discharged. I was just keeping up with the training. I'd camp on the rifle range in my van covered in camouflage netting and shoot." Eventually Aaron met and fell in love with Heather, who became his wife. He says that it was then he realized he had to get help. Today they live in Scotland with their young daughter. See Aaron

Al served as a squad leader in Vietnam, 1967-68. Doing his best to be a good soldier, he trained and killed as he was ordered. During one excruciating battle, he realized he could no longer stomach the violence. Al put down is gun, lit a cigarette and sat against a tree as the bullets flew by around him. He said, "I don't care. I don't care anymore. I don't want to do it anymore." Like many veterans, Al struggled at re-integrating into civilian life and eventually found his way through activism. Today he is a poet and a farmer living in Western Massachusetts. See Al

Esmeralda, a former Sandinista leader in her community, joined the rebels because of her commitment to a better life for herself and her children. After school she attended trainings in the yard behind her school and went on to lead her village's militia unit. It was hardship that made it possible for Esmeralda to join the struggle. She says, "when I saw so many people suffering, I wanted to kill." Eventually she was forced to flee with her children and husband to the United States. She lives in Queens, New York. See Esmeralda

Saar, a dancer and choreographer, was a member of the Israeli Special Forces for six years. He felt proud of being in the elite "warrior" unit, believing that he was defending his family, his community and his country on missions to "kill terrorists" in Lebanon. Saar describes the high he felt his first time in combat and hearing enemy gunfire. For years the people he saw through his scope were no more than a "piece of target paper." Saar choreographed, and has been performing a dance piece that he created based on his experiences as a warrior. See Saar

Zachariah is the leader of Jenin's Al Aqsa Martyr's Brigade in the West Bank. Every night from sunset to sunrise he patrols the camp, protecting the community from raids by the Israeli army. Letting his guard down over a series of interviews he says, "of course I'm sensitive. No human being is insensitive. On the other hand a person is sensitive, doesn't like to hurt anyone but finds himself under pressure, occupation and killings. He finds it easy to kill, to bomb to commit anything against humanity." See Zachariah

In our research for HIDDEN BATTLES, we have traveled the world filming soldiers from wars spanning the globe. Here are some of the people we have met:

George, a retired New York fire fighter, served as a rifleman in the early stages of the Vietnam War. When asked if he had killed he said, "I know I did, but I wasn't one of these guys who tried to prove who killed who and how many people they killed. I didn't want any part of that. That's when I started to feel like a bad soldier, because I was feeling something and it seemed like no one else did." At home in the U.S., George slept with a bayonet under his pillow and self medicated with drugs and alcohol. It wasn't until the late 1980's that he was able to seek help for his anxiety and depression. Today George is a visual artist and works with at-risk youth on issues of violence through the Veteran's Education Project. See George

Heather, a second generation Army officer, was a young Lieutenant in the Gulf War. She served with the elite Explosive Ordnance Division (EOD), deactivating bombs. When three soldiers in her squad died in an explosion, she was held accountable for their deaths and charged with negligent homicide. Eventually, the charge was dropped but that didn't mitigate her feelings of guilt. She says, "How do I live with the fact that I am somehow responsible for someone's death?" Heather went on to write and produce, After the Storm, a one-woman show about her experience. See Heather

Hilmo, a Bosnian Muslim, was a 37-year-old engineer living and working in Sarajevo with his close knit family when he was ripped from his life and conscripted for service in the Bosnian War from 1992-1995. Hilmo describes the isolation of living through the war and not wanting to disclose the details to anyone. Speaking of his experiences for the first time he says, "There is nothing pretty in it, only ugly images. I'm wondering after all that happened over there, was it me? Was I in it? Maybe it was somebody else." After the war Hilmo left Bosnia with his family and immigrated to New York City. He currently holds two jobs as a Superintendent of apartment buildings.

Harry is 86 years old and lives in New Jersey with his wife, Edie. He served in WWII as a tank gunner and tank commander and was President of the National Association Fourth Armored Division. He is proud of his service but 60 years later, still suffers from nightmares and feelings of remorse that he has only recently shared. He describes shooting down an SS soldier in his parachute, "I thought this guy's poor mother doesn't know he's gone and I'm the guy who killed him." See Harry